From richard.beton@roke.co.uk Sun Oct 31 15:49:05 2004 From: Richard Beton To: occam-com mailing list Date: Fri, 03 Nov 2000 16:08:15 +0000 Subject: [Fwd: Beatles songs for the 21st Century] Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii MIME-Version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.75 [en] (Windows NT 5.0; U) Message-ID: <3A02E2EF.A1702A8F@roke.co.uk> Well, this is not very technical, but after being press-ganged to sing in public at the CPA2000 conference dinner, here is my revenge. I'm sure you'll especially appreciate Let it Be... -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Beatles songs for the 21st Century Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 14:20:12 -0000 From: "Setty, David" Newsgroups: Sundries.Humour YESTERDAY: Yesterday, All those backups seemed a waste of pay Now my database has gone away Oh, I believe in yesterday Suddenly, There's not half the files there used to be There's a deadline hanging over me The system crashed so suddenly I - pushed - something wrong What it was I could not say Now-all my data's gone and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay Yesterday, The need for back-ups seemed so far away I knew my data was all here to stay Now I believe in yesterday YELLOW SUBROUTINE: In the town from which l came Lived a man who programmed games. And he showed us lots of scenes From the mass of subroutines. We rewrote one just for fun, But when we hit F5 it wouldn't run. There's a bug that can't be seen In the yellow subroutine. We all debug the yellow subroutine, yellow subroutine, yellow subroutine. We all debug the yellow subroutine, yellow subroutine, yellow subroutine. So we work, for years and years Until the bugs have all been cleared. For every one that we have found Two more come, and us confound. We will not rest; we won't be riled Until the program has compiled. We all debug the yellow subroutine, yellow subroutine, yellow subroutine. We all debug the yellow subroutine, yellow subroutine, yellow subroutine. After compilation does succeed, Line by line, our code we read. We do peruse for logic goofs, Our code acts like it's aloof. We go back and code some more We forgot what we wrote before. We deleted it, and now, We're in trouble, and so, somehow We all debug the yellow subroutine, yellow subroutine, yellow subroutine. We all debug the yellow subroutine, yellow subroutine, yellow subroutine. NOWHERE MAN: He's a real UNIX Man Sitting in his UNIX LAN Making all his UNIX plans For nobody He's as wise as he can be Programs in lex and yacc and C UNIX Man, can you help me at all? UNIX Man, please listen My printout is missin' UNIX Man The wo-o-o-orld is your 'at' command There are lots of bugs right here. Many more are very near. We must hunt, for we're not seers, at all. LET IT BE: When I find my code in tons of trouble, Friends and colleagues come to me, Speaking words of wisdom: "Write in C." As the deadline fast approaches, And bugs are all that I can see, Somewhere, someone whispers: "Write in C." Write in C, Write in C, Write in C, oh, Write in C. LOGO's dead and buried, Write in C. I used to write a lot of FORTRAN, For science it worked flawlessly. Try using it it for graphics! Write in C. If you've just spent nearly 30 hours Debugging some assembly, Soon you will be glad to Write in C. Write in C,Write in C, Write in C, yeah, Write in C. Only wimps use BASIC. Write in C. Write in C,Write in C Write in C, oh, Write in C. Pascal won't quite cut it. Write in C. Write in C, Write in C, Write in C, yeah, Write in C. Don't even mention COBOL. Write in C. ELEANOR RIGBY: Eleanor Rigby Sits at the keyboard And waits for a line on the screen Lives in a dream Wait for a signal Finding some code That will make the machine do some more. What is it for? All the lonely users, where do they all come from? All the lonely users, why does it take so long? Guru MacKenzie Typing the lines of a program that no one will run; Isn't it fun? Look at him working, Munching some chips as he waits for the code to compile; Where is the style? All the lonely users, where do they all come from? All the lonely users, why does it take so long? Eleanor Rigby Crashes the system and loses 6 hours of work; What is it worth? Guru MacKenzie Wiping the blood off his hands as he walks from the grave; Nothing was saved. All the lonely users, where do they all come from? All the lonely users, why does it take so long?